Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
paint
I have been painting a lot in these past few months. For me, painting is a form of meditation. I turn all the filters off in my brain and just let everything out.
I have turned in paintings instead of papers and gotten full credit.
I have turned in paintings instead of papers and gotten full credit.
Monday, August 9, 2010
I'm sorry, you're a WHAT?!
I have been single for three years next week (Hold your applause, please) for various reasons that I quite frankly I don't want to get into at the moment. And being boyfriend-less for that amount of time leads to certain people wondering why and asking questions that are frankly none of their business:
Q: "Don't you WANT a boyfriend?"
A: Yes. But I also don't want to settle for anything less than awesome.
Q: "Are you getting over a bad break up?"
A: Yes and no. The first year or so, yes. The middle year, no. This past year, kind of sort of.
Q: "Has no guy shown any interest in you?"
A: No, there have been guys that liked me. But just because they like me doesn't mean I have to like them.
Q: "Haven't you been interested in any guy?"
A: Yes. And in a few instances it blew up in my face. One instances broke my heart in the worst possible way.
Q: "Are you a lesbian?"
A: Nope. No lesbian tendencies here. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Q: "What's wrong with you?"
A: None of your fucking business.
Clearly, because some random dude doesn't want to make a commitment to me there must be something amiss.
It really couldn't be as simple as I haven't meant anyone I want to put up with for an extended period of time.
That said, I have recently met not one but two guys that interest me. About a year after getting my heart smashed into a bagillion pieces. And what's nice is they both seem to be interested in me. Both are funny, intelligent, interested in theatre, quirky looking in a good way. It's quite nice, actually.
Here come the complications:
Gentleman Caller 1#: 35, involved with the show I'm in, comic book dork, short and hairy and adorable, currently going to back to school to get his bachelor's degree. We started out just being overly flirtatious and touchy at the bar after shows. I find out 3 weeks into it that he considers himself to be "relationshiply agnostic" (meaning he knows its there, but he chooses not to define it) and he has a lady friend of 2 years.
"UM, P'SCUSE!?"
Not only does he has a girlfriend, (wait for it. it gets worse. wait for it. it gets so much worse. wait for it.) they are swingers.
"I'm sorry, you're a WHAT?!"
Swingers. However, he claims that he does not participate. That he only agrees to it because she is honest about it. Apparently, she is polyamorous but he is not. He said that he doesn't think he'd continue to be in this kind of relationship if they were to break up tomorrow.
I don't even share deserts.
I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this whole thing. I am monogamous. I can't seem to wrap my head around the idea of sleeping with someone that I know is sleeping with someone else. Maybe it's my puritanical, WASP-ish upbringing but EW.
I didn't see him for a week. Stewed in my own thoughts. Brought Gentleman Caller 2# to the show.
Last week, I saw him and we talked about the situation. I don't know if anything was resolved. He did say that his lady friend is going to be coming to the show this weekend and he wanted to know if I was okay with it and with her coming to the bar afterward. I said that I was okay with it but I don't really know if that's true.
MOVING ON.........
Gentleman Caller 2#: Tall, lankly, bearded, awkward, big nose (which I LLLLOOOOVVVVEEEE), red haired, intelligent, age appropriate. I met him through my internship. We talk about art museums and Shakespeare.
I really don't have a lot to say about him because I wasn't sure if I liked him that much. He's very awkward and GC1 is uber confident. But lately, I have been wanting to hang out with him all the time. He's just nice to be around. And its easy. There is no weird relationship situation.
Note how short this section is.
I really like them both. I'm just not used to having two guys like me.
Q: "Don't you WANT a boyfriend?"
A: Yes. But I also don't want to settle for anything less than awesome.
Q: "Are you getting over a bad break up?"
A: Yes and no. The first year or so, yes. The middle year, no. This past year, kind of sort of.
Q: "Has no guy shown any interest in you?"
A: No, there have been guys that liked me. But just because they like me doesn't mean I have to like them.
Q: "Haven't you been interested in any guy?"
A: Yes. And in a few instances it blew up in my face. One instances broke my heart in the worst possible way.
Q: "Are you a lesbian?"
A: Nope. No lesbian tendencies here. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Q: "What's wrong with you?"
A: None of your fucking business.
Clearly, because some random dude doesn't want to make a commitment to me there must be something amiss.
It really couldn't be as simple as I haven't meant anyone I want to put up with for an extended period of time.
That said, I have recently met not one but two guys that interest me. About a year after getting my heart smashed into a bagillion pieces. And what's nice is they both seem to be interested in me. Both are funny, intelligent, interested in theatre, quirky looking in a good way. It's quite nice, actually.
Here come the complications:
Gentleman Caller 1#: 35, involved with the show I'm in, comic book dork, short and hairy and adorable, currently going to back to school to get his bachelor's degree. We started out just being overly flirtatious and touchy at the bar after shows. I find out 3 weeks into it that he considers himself to be "relationshiply agnostic" (meaning he knows its there, but he chooses not to define it) and he has a lady friend of 2 years.
"UM, P'SCUSE!?"
Not only does he has a girlfriend, (wait for it. it gets worse. wait for it. it gets so much worse. wait for it.) they are swingers.
"I'm sorry, you're a WHAT?!"
Swingers. However, he claims that he does not participate. That he only agrees to it because she is honest about it. Apparently, she is polyamorous but he is not. He said that he doesn't think he'd continue to be in this kind of relationship if they were to break up tomorrow.
I don't even share deserts.
I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this whole thing. I am monogamous. I can't seem to wrap my head around the idea of sleeping with someone that I know is sleeping with someone else. Maybe it's my puritanical, WASP-ish upbringing but EW.
I didn't see him for a week. Stewed in my own thoughts. Brought Gentleman Caller 2# to the show.
Last week, I saw him and we talked about the situation. I don't know if anything was resolved. He did say that his lady friend is going to be coming to the show this weekend and he wanted to know if I was okay with it and with her coming to the bar afterward. I said that I was okay with it but I don't really know if that's true.
MOVING ON.........
Gentleman Caller 2#: Tall, lankly, bearded, awkward, big nose (which I LLLLOOOOVVVVEEEE), red haired, intelligent, age appropriate. I met him through my internship. We talk about art museums and Shakespeare.
I really don't have a lot to say about him because I wasn't sure if I liked him that much. He's very awkward and GC1 is uber confident. But lately, I have been wanting to hang out with him all the time. He's just nice to be around. And its easy. There is no weird relationship situation.
Note how short this section is.
I really like them both. I'm just not used to having two guys like me.
New Directions
I have decided that I will no longer be blogging exclusively about food that I don't like. Mostly because I feel the need to vent certain things and don't feel like starting a new blog.
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